" So is there anywhere left in the house where you want to me to love youagain?" Well I do like it when it gets dark out by the pool and the way thatone lounge chair bounces."-2-California living has been good for us. We were able to find a gorgeoushouse near the water with a full size pool and plenty of space for botha nursery and Zach's laboratory. I mixed Lamaze and cooking classesgetting high marks on a paper discussing how pregnancy changed one'ssense of taste. My delivery went well after about five hours of labor.In my life all pain is compared to the fiery explosion and itsaftermath. The pain of giving birth is more intense but the duration isshorter and any time I get to yell and swear with impunity is notwithout its advantages. Andrea weighed in at just under seven pounds.She took my breast with only a couple of false starts and I came toenjoy feeding her both for release of pressure but as a time to begin myconnection to my new daughter.It was shortly after her first. “No.” I opened my eyes. “Not really.”“She really loved you.” Simon came in and shut the door. “At least you’ll always have that.”From the way he said the last, Simon was struggling as hard as I was. “She loved you, too. In her own way.”He nodded and sat next to me on the bed. “And I loved her.”“I know,” I whispered. “I could see it. So could she.”He sniffed and wiped his nose. “It was hard to watch you with her, but I could tell you made her happy.”“I’m sorry.”I didn’t know what else to say, so I rubbed his back while he took deep, shuddering breaths. He turned at one point and wrapped me in his arms. We held each other, both of us seeking comfort. When he kissed me, it was just another kind of comfort to kiss him back.He hadn’t shaved, but I ignored the rough texture around his lips. When I opened my mouth to his tongue, he squeezed me tighter. I knew he needed this and it didn’t feel like cheating on Sam because we had both loved and lost her. I know she loved him in her own way and.
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