I can’t help but feel that I was more hyped up about us having sex than he was. I’ve said it before — this relationship makes me feel I’m back in high school. But I’ve never felt so… well, ‘giddy’ about things. I hate the word, but it’s a good description of how I felt. I had butterflies in my stomach, but I was also jumping up and down, totally ready to go. It must sound kinda crazy, but I couldn’t even sleep at night. We didn’t see each other on Monday. Matt’s parents were due to come back on Thursday, so we had a lot of time to spare. (My place was, of course, occupied by my family.) Matt actually invited me over on Monday. I ended up going over on Tuesday. I lied to him, and said that I was busy Monday night. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see him or anything like that — almost exactly the opposite. It wasn’t even a period-clearing thing, the day after, whatever. I actually wanted to build up my body’s expectation of what was coming. I was totally lusting the whole day. Thinking. I asked Frank if he knew how John Smith was getting along. Frank laughed and said, "We just came from there. Irene told us that John would probably be able to sleep in the cell next to Ab tonight, if she didn't choke him first."I laughed and said, "She hasn't got much bedside manner when someone has kept her up all night. I don't guess it's gonna make any difference in the end. I don't think they're going to be with us much longer. The only options I can see is either locking them up permanently or letting them go. Locking them up permanently means guards and people to take care of them. We can't afford that. I'm going to meet with the families in a bit and see what they want to do. I'll make my choice after that."I asked Sheila to have the Graytons, the Smiths, Jim Baxley and Susan Gordon meet me in the small conference room in the BOQ. Sheila looked puzzled and I explained where the room was off of the reception hall. She laughed and said, "Why didn't you say that in the first.
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