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I lost my hand." IED?" David said."Improvised explosive device," Dwayne said. "When I got hit, the wife couldn't take it anymore. She cut and run. No great loss. She'd been runnin' around on me for a while. Fidelity and loyalty weren't her strong suits. But I miss Katy. Katy's my daughter, short for Catherine. This job is a godsend. I'll be able to save up and fly her out here during the Christmas break." How old is she?" David asked."Nine." Dwayne smiled, flashing straight white teeth. "She's a beauty." He sighed. "We were very close. Still are, but..." he shrugged."Would she prefer living with you?" David said.Dwayne jerked his eyes off the road momentarily to look at David. "Don't know," he said, his eyes on the road again. "Maybe. Yeah, I think she would. That's never been an option, so the possibility hasn't been discussed." How would her mother feel about that?" David asked.Dwayne snorted derisively and said, "Probably happy. As mothers go, my ex would make a better lumberjack.. ”I was shaking now struggling not to sob but continued, “But I know I have to move on, to change. I have to forgive myself for what I’ve done. I have to hope my friend forgives me for what all has happened. The worst part is that I’m pregnant and because of the guys my boyfriend had me be with I don’t even know who the father of my baby is. How do I admit to my family I have no idea who the father is? I can’t picture myself ever telling them about everything I’ve done, or even part of what I’ve done. I’m ashamed enough I’m not sure I could handle them knowing what a slut I have become. So yes, I was raped, but I have to live with the guilt I will always feel about it.”With that I looked down and stopped talking. The leader of the group paused long enough to make sure I was done. When she was sure I was finished she dismissed the group. A few of the women came by and gave me a hug and I was struggling to hold it together. But I was stunned and relieved when I got the hug.
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