" How so?" If she goes for the divorce she is in control. You will get served and it could be bad. You have no idea of what she might do. You could be ordered to vacate the house and maintain her pending hearings. What if she files and says that it is because of mental and physical cruelty and gets a restraining order keeping you away from her and the house? You need to be the one setting the pace boss. You need to be in the driver's seat. Make her respond to you and not the other way around. Besides, you filing helps me." Helps you? How?" If you are going to wait and let her file what if she doesn't? What if lover boy won't give her the money to do it? That would put us in the position of committing adultery and she could use that against you somewhere down the line. You say she cheated and she says so what? You did too." If you file you are saying that as far as you are concerned the marriage is over and what you do from that point on is none of her business. From a strictly legal. I was allowed out of the hospital just in time to participate in the extended German Christmas rituals.For Germans, Christmas is a three-day holiday that includes dinners at various relatives' houses, going to church a lot, and many different kinds of traditional, if not always very tasty, foods. And the plum people I could do without! Don't ask! It's complicated, German, and not fully understood by me. But aside from the less fun stuff, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I think it was probably the best Christmas I could remember. The presents that we mailed in Missouri arrived a few days before Christmas to a lot of cheers from the kids and a lot of "You shouldn't have's" from the adults. My grandparents' tree looked like Santa had arrived early and decided to just dump his entire sack under our tree and call it a year.On Christmas morning, I was awakened by Anika and Jacob before the sun was up. They literally dragged me downstairs so we could sit in the dark to await the adults'.
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