”The husband was trying his best to pretend he was not staring at my newly-turned-30 wife’s legs and cleavage whenever he got a chance. He looked like the typical new money businessman from Delhi, and whatever little I had overheard of his conversation with his plump sari-clad wife confirmed that he sounded like that too.For over an hour, I had been plying my wife with alcohol while keeping mine moderate. In the three hours that we had worked our way through a leisurely five course meal, I was still nursing my third whiskey-soda while Urvashi had just downed her seventh vodka-tonic. My 6 ft 2, 200 lbs frame seasoned by years of occasional binge drinking was barely even buzzed. But my 5 ft 3 medium built wife with her legendary lightweight tolerance was very sloshed.For two reasons. First, that it was my turn to drive the entire weekend, since this was HER 30th birthday weekend. And second, that more than a few drinks inhibit my ability to bang my wife as often and for as long as I. As for the endlessly repeated suggestion that I am a man hater, well that is utter pish and nonsense. There is only one man I hate, and if you woke each morning next to his porcine snuffling, grunting and God awful scratching I'm sure you'd hate him too. Thankfully this week's letter is from a small, insignificant piece of punctuation (bet you didn't see that cumming) and I've already girded my loins in anticipation of all the 'Grammer Nazis' complaints. So without any further ado: Dear Cum,Please, please help. I am at my wit's end, and you're my last hope, in fact, my only hope.You may recall how I was once so rudely used, or is that abused by the gothic nerd and pushed, stuffed, rubbed in that fucking smelly hole that masquerades as her vagina - she calls it her snatch these days. Well, I can tell you it does snatch and then never lets you out!Due to the continued lockdown and this working from home shit, her gothic nerd-ness has taken to a quick afternoon interlude. It would have.
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