My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 175 pounds I’ve gained since then.Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.” If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can go in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.I think it’s pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!Now, go have a nice day, or whichever kind of day you want.Understanding Engineers #1Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?”The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her. " And are you still feeling seasick – any remaining problems?" No – I guess I've been fine since, like, this morning when I woke up." Have you been able to eat anything?"She shrugged. "Yeah – I had a banana muffin thing for breakfast, and Moira brought me a sandwich for lunch." Good," I assured her. "Most people adapt in a day or two. I'll talk to Jake about it, but it's probably best to just try leaving the patch on for now; it should be wearing off slowly over the next day or day-and-a-half. If you're still OK, then I think you're set. I hope you can join us in the dining room at 6:30 for dinner tonight."I watched as Saralinda looked to Moira, who gave a shrug and raised her eyebrows, as if to say, 'It's up to you'. Finally, Saralinda turned back to me. "I'll see how I feel then, but I think I'll be up for dinner." Great."Now I had to get to the heart of the matter."There's another thing I wanted to talk with you about," I said, lowering my voice a bit. I'd tried imaging how to.
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