Her skin darkened and she couldn’t meet his eyes.“I told him what you said, and that white people are strange and different, and don’t know how to live sometimes ... that they have strange ideas. I did not mean to dishonor you, but I want him for my man, and I did not want him to die. He said you are welcome to the white tiger woman. He says she is too much trouble anyway. I am happy to see her leave his lodge.”Bobby stared at her. “Your English is very good,” he said, for lack of anything else to say.“I went to the white man’s school for a little while,” she said, now able to look at him. “Your ways are too strange for me though, and I came back here to be with the people.”Molly gasped and Bobby looked to see a white girl being led toward them. She was snarling and pulling at the men who escorted her, one of whom was Man Who Runs Like A Deer, and he was laughing as she slapped at his hands. She was dressed in a worn and faded buckskin dress, and was barefoot. With a start Bobby. I felt like... I dunno, a grown-up I guess? A real person for once. A person who could throw a punch, and hurt somebody and be OK with that. It made me want to fuck and eat a cheeseburger in no particular order.Anyway since then Ethan has been looking a little.. I dunno man-boy to me. The shit I used to think was confidence now seems like lazyness, his bravado seems like dim-wittedness. I know he hasn't changed. It's the same him, the same shit, but I'm different now. It feels dissonant; frightening. Like I thought I knew what I wanted, and it wore a leather jacket and smelled like engine-oil and booze, and rode motorcycles with a devil-may-care attitude, and bent me over those motorcycles and fucked me with that same devil-may-care attitude. But now it all just seems a little... adolescent. Small. Ethan, me, all of it.So when he held on to my wrist with that shark-tooth grin, all fucking drunk and stanky, not letting me go until he got what he wanted.. I think I wanted to feel that.
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