My frequent feelings of sexual arousal when he was close, and his presence as my fantasy during masturbation, clearly demonstrated my failed attempts at self-deception. Worse than the straightforward sexual attraction I felt for him, I knew myself to be in love with him. That Jeremy had never demonstrated openly any feelings of sexual attraction towards me, was my last line of defence. When our conversation strayed in the direction of matters sexual, and especially when it referred even remotely to a possible attraction between us, Jeremy would pass it off with a laugh and a joke. There came a time when I was considering telling Jeremy to leave. A battle raged inside me. I wanted him to go because the sexual tensions in me had reached the point where I was becoming irritable and snappy with both Edgar and Jeremy. Edgar, in his usual bland, unobservant and probably disinterested way, wrote off my irascible behaviour as “early menopause.” He even suggested that I go and see the doctor. It seemed to me that would be job one.To do that I needed an information sharing arrangement between the dope squad in Tryon, Aster and me. Then most likely I would need DEA to share information on Estavante. Since there was no arrangement in place, it appeared that I needed to setup one and do it on an emergency basis. Of course I had to have some excuse to get me inside the meeting.The words that sprang to mind were Task Force. The problem was I had no official standing nor did I want any. I just wanted the information from them all, not their bodies on the ground necessarily. Hacking the police computers would be difficult at the very least. But then I had the ultimate computer sitting on a very hard, very straight chair across from my downstairs bathroom. She was doing what I supposed was was robot version of sleeping. At least she was recharging her batteries, which is more or less what sleep does for me.While Eve rested and recharged, she also got upgraded and received.
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