I took a closer look. She had crossed her shoes backwards so that I could see them under the seat directly from the row behind her. They weren't new anymore, they've definitely been walked around the edges of the sole. There were generally few girls who wore Converse in my grade. Unfortunately. Even Sabine had left her wine-red Chucks at home after a few weeks. Except for Jana, she and her black sneakers were inseparable. Anyway, I should have noticed if Antonia was wearing Converse. That had to mean she wore them mostly at home or on special occasions. But why now? I continued to philosophize as I stared hypnotically at the soles of her white shoes. The journey went on like that until we arrived at the youth hostel. When unloading, everyone had again taken way too many bags and things with them. Everyone was laden like pack donkeys - at least that's how we felt. I took my two suitcases - one of which was actually just liquor - and put them in the lobby. Then I went back to the bus. On the weekends she made me wearthe dresses Nancy and I had worn, one for each day. She took greatdelight in fixing me up as feminine as possible and forcing me to playwith dolls in front of my brothers. They used to laugh and tease me,all with my mother's blessings.Then there was Mrs. Jennings, who remained a good friend of my mothers.Since my mother didn't trusted me to stay home alone and not go throughher things anymore, she would have Mrs. Jennings baby-sit me. This onlyhappened whenever her husband and son weren't home (I think she madearrangements so they wouldn't) and my mother couldn't take me to whereshe was going. During that time Mrs. Jennings would treat me like alittle baby, just as she did that first day. She would force me to stayin a playpen the entire time wearing a diaper and one of the dresses mymother had brought me. I had the option of either playing with a dollor watching Sesame Street on TV. Sometimes I didn't even have a choice.If she were in a particularly.
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