How life without her was unthinkable. But he never said those things. He just left, without a kiss or so much as a wave of his hand. That’s when she realized where the source of her handicap lay. It was like an unexpected midnight knock at the door and was so obvious as to be cliché. It made her feel so stupid not to have figured it out before, but her mind must have long ago created some mental block to protect her. It shunted his memory in a locker where lost and dead things go, only infrequently and indistinctly recalled. She turned off the vibrator and removed it, remarking how wet she’d gotten thinking of Philip this way. She put it next to the keyboard and crawled into bed wishing she had her comforting leather collar to keep her warm and not the cold pearls. She returned to thoughts of her father. As much as she had tried in the past to hate him, she could not. She just didn’t have enough information. Her mother never spoke of him and photos were scarce. There was one,. ”“So how come I never hear about you dating?”“Well after losing my baby and my cheating husband accusing me of killing her, I just never trusted a man again. It seems that they want my tits and pussy but that’s all. You are the first guy I have been with since the divorce over five years ago.”I stood there and thought for a while. I loved Lynn and could see himself living with her. I was not sure about marriage, but being in a lifetime, committed relationship was a real probability. Now here was this other tremendously sexy woman and I found myself in love with her too.“Damn, I am so conflicted. I really have strong feelings for you and Lynn. I am afraid of doing the wrong thing and losing both of you.”“Strong feelings? That is not what I heard.” Erin sounded a bit harsh.“Ok! I know I used the L word and I really meant it. But now as I think about it, the whole idea of loving two women just seems so far out of my experience that I don’t know what to do or how to do it. Or, hell, even.
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