"Saturday Night Live. Two wild and crazy guys. You want to see a clip?" I guess," I said. She'd downloaded one onto her computer and I had to admit that it was a good routine."Wait a minute," I said. "You got two shirts. Who's the other one for?" Sammy," she said proudly."I'm wearing the same outfit as Sammy Houghtaling?" I asked.She nodded."No way," I said. "Tanya'll never —" Call her," Jeanne interrupted me.I stomped off to my room to get my cell phone. Tanya wasn't picking up, but I did get a return text message: URAQT. I was a cutie."She already knows, doesn't she?" I asked when I returned to Jeanne's room.Jeanne just smiled at me, and I stomped off back to my room again.Then I returned for the shirt."What's Tanya going as?" I asked."It's a surprise," my sister smirked.Then she gave me the pants that went with the shirt. The plaid pants. And the hat.Women.I was destined not to find out what Tanya was going as until Saturday night, when I rang the doorbell at the address Tanya had. " She wobbled to one side and almost fell as she laughed. "Boy was that ever a mistake, he's more of an animal than you are, if that's possible." She looked me up and down. "Gee I knew you were fat but I didn't realise just how fat you really were." Fat is it? Animal is it? You fucking loved it you cunt. All that kneeling and begging, all the submissive shit. And what about that five thousand dollars? I suppose that meant nothing as well?"She laughed so hard I thought she was going to have a coughing fit. "What five thousand dollars, God now you've got me thinking you belong in a fucking loony-bin. As for me loving it, you're fucking lucky I didn't call the police and have you charged with assault, aggravated rape, sodomy, and any other charge I'm sure the police could think up."Now I was confused, I knew I had left the five thousand at her place.'Of course you did but she isn't going to remember it if I don't want her to. Now offer her a lift, and when she refuses and mentions.
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