’ ‘And your father?’ ‘Was James Bond, of course. They met when James was fighting the REAL Aurik Goldfinger, just like in the movie. The mere sight of that debonair British spy must have gotten my mother’s pussy awfully horny, because just like the Pussy Galore character in the movie, my mother immediately and literally took a roll in the hay with Bond. Nine months later, I popped out, but of course, by then Bond had moved on to other spying adventures and other women. My mother lacked the finances to raise me all by herself, and abandoned me when I was an infant. I only remember a whole series of orphanages and foster homes. I never knew whether to use my mother’s last name, Galore, my father’s–Bond–or any of the half-billion foster-parent names I took over the years. And I never KNEW what love was until I met and married my William.’ Wendy’s smile suddenly turned to tears and loud sobs. ‘And now I find that once more, I was deluding myself. That rat bastard never loved me! He loved. It was obviously a printed, copperplate form that had been filled in by some office clerk. It stated that one James Brookes of Maryland, age 21, a lieutenant in the colonial forces then in rebellion, had been captured on Long Island on the 27th of August 1776 by men under the command of General De Hesiter and held for almost one year. He was paroled on a vow of good behavior on 1 August 1777 and provided transportation to Annapolis by way of a mail packet, an unnamed sloop of war, where he was released after having sworn true allegiance to his majesty, King George III, in the presence of one Major William Fox whose name was properly signed or copied below. Near the bottom someone had signed and sealed for Joshua Loring, and below that was another seal attesting this as a true copy of the original and that was dated just six days before."Imagine," said Wainright, "New York and back in two weeks. Sometimes takes that long just to get there; often takes twice that to get an answer to a.
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