.. simple!" (She pronounced the final three words with a rising intonation and very slowly, as if each were a sentence by itself.)"It's not intelligence, Connie," I told her. "It's education." Is it?" said Connie, still fuming. "Well, if that's what it does for you I'm glad I ain't got it."Laura was shocked. This statement went against everything she believed in. "That's a dreadful thing to say," she said.Fran unexpectedly came to Connie's support. "No, Laura, she's got a point."Laura turned on this new adversary. "You don't mean that. You seem like an educated person —" BA with Honours from St Andrews last summer," said Fran.St Andrews University, Fran had once proudly told me, was chartered in 1413 by a bull of Pope Benedict XIII. This means it has been around long enough for even Cambridge to take notice of it. When Laura resumed it was evidently with a little more respect for Fran. "Well then," she asked, "are you saying you wish you hadn't had that education?" Well, no, of course. "Brian hated Joe because he thought we were too close, too flirty. He wasprobably right. But Brian wouldn't say it outright, he played it cool. Ijust knew. Arlene knew, I mean.Right then I knew I had to leave. If I didn't, I'd end up sucking facewith this guy, and probably forgetting who I am. Is that what happenedto Steve when he became Stephanie? Maybe I should try to find her, Ithought. Maybe she had some insight. Or maybe I could make her remember."Ohhhh, I don't feel so good," I said. I bent over like I was going tothrow up. Deirdre pushed Jorts off of her."Oh, sweetie, want me to take you home?" No, no. You guys stay and finish the picnic; I'll Uber." I can take you home," Brian said. "I don't mind."Yes, yes, yes!"Uh, no," I said. "I don't want you to see me getting sick."Not like I haven't seen it before, Arlene." Still." Fine."He was pissed, I could tell he was pissed. I shuffled off toward theentrance to the park, pulled the stupid romper wedgie out of my crack,and got an.
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