Over dinner wouldn't talk about anything but the squabble thathad aborted her Saturday afternoon bridge game and brought her homeprematurely. And in the evening she returned to her current novel,interrupting her reading only to continue her post-mortem about thequarrel. "Agnes was winning when she started the argument," she said."She's done that before. I wonder whether she does it so she can quitwhile she's ahead."Finally, I couldn't stand it any more. What did she think? Was shegoing to dump me? I realized that the pain of not knowing was worsethan the pain of knowing."Honey, about those things I was wearing..."She yawned exaggeratedly. "Yes, yes, my darling husband turns outto be a transvestite. Don't bore me with the details." But don't you...?" No, I don't, in fact. You like to dress up in women's clothes. Sowhat? I love you, George, but on a scale of importance from one toten, that rates a big, fat zero. I have much more interesting thingsto concern myself with. . She used the fact that she was small to try and slip out from under him, managed to turn around; she tried to kick him, to bite him, to scratch him, pull her wrists out of his grip. He held on. It lasted for as long as it had to, which was a long time. She pretended to give up once; relaxing her body under his and hoping he would do the same. He did slightly; but when she tried to use this in her favour and tried once again to get out and away from him, he was much too fast. Too fast, not to be manipulated, strong. Everything she liked about him. He wasn’t trying not to hurt her; his grip was like iron around her arms. She would admire the marks for days and days afterwards. “When you’re done, say it. Say 'I give up, I submit',” he said. His words made her angrier still. She used this moment to get up all of her anger, against him and the rest of the world as well as the pride of her independence; her person; her dignity; and her darkness, her own need for an exorcism. It flew out.
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