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That is also known as the coward’s way out.After I got warm I stripped off my smelly clothes and dressed in clean clothes. I know I was supposed to take a shower, but I really didn’t feel like it. When I was in clean clothes again, I carried the smelly ones to the shower room. I tossed them into the janitors sink then reached into the corner for my hand held mixer, a broken boat paddle... Just a small amount of the liquid detergent, which I used in the shower, was enough. I let the clothes soak in the water after I stirred them about a minute. I went inside the Titan to drink more coffee and work on dinner.I heated one of the frozen Mac&Cheese dinners. I also tossed some of the cocktail shrimp from mom’s left over bag into the plastic dish. I sat down to eat alone while my clothes soaked. The soaking clothes were part of my routine. On the deck there was one of those umbrella looking clothes racks.After dinner I went back to stir my clothes. Then I got them as dry as possible by. ‘Welcome to my home, it’s not much, but it’s home.’ Phoebe sat down on the sofa, and invited Ashley to sit down with her. ‘How do you feel now?’ Phoebe asked. ‘Weird. Relieved, mostly, I guess.’ ‘Me too. It was an overwhelming experience. Almost too much for me.’ ‘I can imagine. Especially after they got you so often in the beginning.’ ‘That was pretty horrible indeed.’ ‘It took me quite some effort to come to terms with it all,’ Ashley said, looking at the wall. ‘I had to disconnect myself from my body. I had to tell myself all the time, don’t let them play with your mind. Don’t let them play with your mind. They only care about your body. And when I started to realise that indeed they only want my body, it got easier. The last day I actually managed to enjoy.’ ‘Will you do this again?’ ‘Maybe. Time will tell, everything hurts, including my mind – too much happened. I have to go cash that cheque, that will help me heal, I’m sure. I’m going to get cash, I don’t want to have to.
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