Tony ... a dishwasher ... and a thirteen year old kid ... me. Well ... I immediately put my hands up ... with a card in the right hand ... Daddy's card."Don't touch my grandmother. She's over seventy and you could get sued." Smartass huh?" Nope ... prosecuting attorney's thirteen year old son. I recommend you read the card."The cop threw the card on the floor. "Yeah, right. Get outta the booth kid ... let's see some ID."Shit ... I'm thirteen ... the only ID I have is my library card. It's what I have ... it's what he got. I get muscled to the floor and he grabs Grannie ... by the boob ... just as the Chief of Police walks in the door."Haversham, what do you think you're doing?" asked the Chief."Searching a suspect." That's no suspect ... that's the Clinton County Prosecuting Attorney's mother ... and his son." We're not in Clinton County and we caught her red handed." Caught her doing what?"Brownshoe was just beginning to splutter out some asinine excuse when I interrupted.I spoke. On the way out of the building, she retrieved the oil and lotion bottle from her handbag and with a satisfied grin on her face, she tossed them into a bin in reception.*************The following morning, as was routine, Bob was awoken by the shrill buzz of his alarm clock. He always got the tea in the mornings, and today was no exception. As he rose from his marital bed, his wife gingerly opened her eyes and watched him throw open the bedroom curtains, letting in the morning light.“Good Morning Darling, did you sleep well?” she squinted as her eyes got used to the morning brightness. As she looked across the room at her Husband, slowly she started to focus, “Hey Bob, you have something on your back! What is it? Turnaround for me.”Unsuspectingly Bob turned his back to his wife, and there, plain to see, in dark brown writing across the width of his back were the words ‘I FUCK AROUND AND CHEAT ON MY WIFE.’“What is it?” he asked.His wife gasped and shot up in the bed, “What the hell.
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