.. how would you put it? I guess you could say 'my Army career opportunities' might have to suddenly be reevaluated in light of this new intelligence having to be factored into the situation, shall we say?" Ah, yes, quite." The Englishman glances over to the American. "Well, then I guess the first thing that we'll need to do is to insert you back inside the military compound. I don't expect you had to show your pass at the gate when you drove off in this machine?" I wasn't driving! Honest sir! I had swapped duty assignments yesterday so this buddy of mine could do the wife and family bit, you know? After I got relieved, we had a little card game going and with a bottle or two, I just climbed up into the track and bedded down, as I was way too drunk to drive and the MP's are hell on wheels about drunks driving around loaded on base. Really 'bad career move' if you know what I mean? Next thing I know, things are falling down all over the place and sometime later, when things quieted. What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he’s only got his shelf to blame.What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? Feyoncé.Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like banana.How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb? Let’s go play on our bikes.What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror.Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks “How do you drive this thing?”Why can’t a bike stand on its own? It’s two tired.Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out man!Last night I almost had a threesome, I only needed two more people!What do you call a big pile of kittens? A meowntain.Just went to an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.How.
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