She smiled as she stared into the stars and asked what he’d like for breakfast. When the morning came, she had her husband’s clothes laid out, his bags packed, and breakfast by his side. Devlin pulled his tray to the bed, and picked up the mail. He began to read business letters while taking small bites in between. After he finished up, he quickly dressed, picked up his bags, kissed his wife and headed out the door. Annabel stood from the door waving as he drove off. As soon as he was out of site, a smile grew once more. Annabel secretly had a friend in town. Eli Adams. Annabel had known Eli since her first year in high school. They had always had feelings for each other, but each were in a relationship with another. Annabel had always secretly wondered what her and Eli’s children would look like. They both fantasized about their lives together, but would never bring their relationships to an end. Annabel had enough of being ignored, and Eli had recently broken it off with his high. But that’s a long ways away. Before then I have so much to learn, so much to figure out! I guess the answer is that I’m searching for myself.”Was that it? Did I just answer my own question? That what I was searching for was myself? It made sense. I wasn’t searching for me as I was now, but as I was meant to be. The man I wanted to be — husband and father — was inside me; I just had to find him. That’s what Jennifer was trying to tell me. That’s why Birgit pushed me like she did. Now I knew what I was searching for!“What just happened?” Pia asked. “You have an odd look on your face.”“I think I figured out what it is I’m searching for.”“What is it?”“I’m searching for myself.”“For yourself? I don’t understand.”“The person I need to be is inside me, and always has been. I need to get my head and heart in tune with each other! I need to understand why I do what I do and, most importantly, I need to understand what it truly means to love someone. It’s something I have to do, but others can.
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