She looked at the top of his curls as he drank from her. She felt she was giving him all the love that was in her. The feeling was like nothing she had ever known and she wanted to be able to see his eyes as he did this. How she found her voice to tell him what she wanted, she would never know. ‘Orlando, take me to bed. I need to be able to see your eyes.’ He took his mouth from her nipple, shaking his head before he did so, drawing one last drop from her breast deep into his mouth. He picked her up in his arms and took her the few steps to the bed, gently putting her on her back. He unzipped his jeans as she watched him hungrily and pulled them down and off his legs. He never wore anything under them. She opened her legs wide and he moved between them, hooking his hands behind her knees and drawing her legs up over his shoulders. ‘Fuck me, Orlando.’ Their breathing blending together as one loud heartbeat. He took his cock in his hand and poised it at her entrance. He looked at her. There was no other way to have a cheerful, accepting and respectful attitude through this.The idea of time frightened me the most. Everything had already gone on much longer than I imagined it would. I got the impression it would go on for much longer still - perhaps months. After so long immersed in this world would I be able to remember or adapt my mind to anything else? They required such complete capitulation, there would be nothing else left of me - and yet I couldn't even cling to that fear, I had to abandon it and eagerly accept their way. If I resisted the end would be the same but it would simply be more painful.The guilt was overwhelming because even these questioning thoughts were wrong. There was a bad person inside me, who embodied everything I knew to be unwelcome in a human being. Though I hadn't expected it at first, the goal here was to make me into a better person. Whenever I questioned that, or fought against it, I was giving succour to that evil part of me. It was.
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