However, it would only take a little cheap dog food to see if the dog would hang around, and then, if it did, maybe he really was supposed to be moving toward a dog team.Brother Erasmus, the old black preacher down in Florida, had been the only preacher that Mark had ever really liked, even though he'd spent a term on the board of the Spearfish Lake First Baptist Church. He'd been the only preacher that Mark had ever met that acted like he meant what he was talking about, not just mouthing the words. "The Lord be talkin' to you all the time, showin' you the way all the time," Mark remembered Brother Erasmus saying. "Just you got to be ready to listen, and most people don't hear too good."Mark knew that Jackie cherished the memory of Brother Erasmus, as well, but the whole thing was a little too far out to drop the idea on her, just yet. "He seems like a pretty good dog," Mark commented. "Maybe all he needs is a good meal, and he'll be on his way." I don't know," Jackie said again.. When I saw the address of Reverend Archer's church still clipped to my sun visor, I decided on the spot that I needed church alright, but just not as much as I needed a shower. I drove home quickly, but I was also very careful not to allow anyone to follow me. After all I did have a Russian thug's pistol. Not to mention that I had challenged him to come for it. The more awake I became, the more I realized what a stupid move that had been. I put myself at risk and gained nothing worthwhile for it. Self loathing was a powerful emotion; it caused me to attack that thug, when the night before self preservation kept me from doing the same thing. It seemed to be an emotion strong enough to force one to do terribly stupid things.The shower and the day old coffee helped me with my self esteem issue even more. I still felt worthless, but not quite as suicidal. I knew from experience that by nightfall, I would have justified everything to myself. After that I could start my psychic healings.I.
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