But that's just it; it’s a sport pitting abstract human thought against the brute force of a beast. I guess I can see the appeal that has to some people; but it’s not what thrills me. What I find truly exciting is outsmarting another human being. To outsmart a creature that plans and thinks on an equal level with me; to defeat the measures they've taken to protect themselves; finally to snuff out the hopes and dreams and fears of a mind I can understand and empathize with—to me, there’s nothing like it.I won't deny that a lot of the appeal is sexual. My targets are young attractive women I might be attracted to under different circumstances. While I enjoy the stalking and killing by far the most, I’m not above taking advantage of a victim sexually. In fact, it seems kind of silly to me—in my view, it is the ultimate lack of respect to take another person's life for my own enjoyment; to balk at disrespecting their sexual integrity over and above that as some people do, particularly. Hell, we didn’t even make it out of the parking lot. Most of the women were gone by the time we got into my car. But I leaned across the console and kissed Helen, thanking her for insisting on my coming. I was very excited and I could see in her eyes that she was also. We kissed and our hands took on a life of their own and we found ourselves absorbed in mutual stimulation through our mouth and tongue action and our hands. My hand was under her tee-shirt and inside her sports bra but I was sure she had hers inside mine first. At least that’s the way I remember it.But we both jumped in our seats when there was a rap on the window. Outside stood the young instructor, a huge knowing smile and waving to us as she backed away in the direction of her car. I smiled at her and winked, letting her know that I knew she caught us. I then turned to Helen to check on how she was taking it. Her smile was as big and she was giving the instructor a cute little wave. She turned to me and we broke out.
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