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Despite his resolution to write to Isobel Gerry had done nothing about it. He did not know what to say. He could not own up to knowing about Gwen. Isobel would resent that as an invasion of her privacy. It had to be more than just a chatty letter if he hoped to get a reply. He was at his wits' end. While Isobel was with Penelope he tried to hack something out. The opening bogged him down to start with: 'Dear Isobel', 'My dear Isobel', 'Dearest Isobel', 'Hi Isobel!'? In the end he decided it had to be the first. It could not be misconstrued even though it did not carry the affection he felt for her. By Sunday evening he had written as follows:Dear Isobel,I have abided by your wish and have not attempted to see you nor will I until you give me permission. That does not mean that I have enjoyed myself. I miss you badly: your laughter, your quick wit, your sense of fun, your gentleness and indeed your attractiveness. I live in hope of you changing your mind. I selfishly hope you've missed. Amanda asked howlong I'd been dressing in women's clothing and I asked, "For pleasure?"She looked at me and I said about a year. She asked if I did it oftenand I said I did it in spurts. She then asked if I'd ever been out inpublic and I said I had but only a couple of times. She shook her head.She noticed the purse on the table and looked at it and asked if it wasmine, I nodded. She took it and opened it before I could stop her. Shepulled the cigarettes out and looked at me. I shrugged my shoulders asshe pulled one out and lit it. "I didn't know you smoked." I said. Shelooked at me and answered, "And my mom doesn't either." That was alittle message. I took one also and lit it. I sat in a very femininemanner as we smoked and she commented on how real I looked. I told herI'd been practicing. She looked at my shoes and asked if I could walkin them and I got up and walked around the patio. I bent over in frontof her and everything. Ok, you look and walk like a female but can youtalk.
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