She looked back at me, paralyzed. Then she leaned her head out of the doorway. Looked to the right and then the left...and then quickly crawled to the spot I'd indicated and stopped, looking up at me, her eyes terrified. I looked calmly back at her. Made her wait for my next direction for several agonizing seconds, which must have seemed like hours to her. Finally, I languidly extended my arm again and pointed from where she was to the end of the hall and back, indicating that she was to crawl along that route. She looked up at me in sheer disbelief, shaking her head vigorously, the distant exit lights making red streaks in her glasses. I nodded. She shook her head even more vigorously, her glasses sliding down to the end of her nose before she caught them, and mouthed the word "No!", panic-stricken. I straightened up from the wall, stepped around her—and she followed me, first with her eyes, then with her head and finally with her whole body—and stood in the doorway, my arms crossed.. She just wasn't getting accurate information. How could she communicateunder the circumstances when everything she said seemed to bemisinterpreted in the worst possible way?"Penny for your thoughts," Grace said."Trust me, you won't get your money's worth." Consider me warned. I'll take the gamble."Marcia sighed. She suddenly felt how cold the unsipped cup of tea was inher hand. She put it down carefully on the table."I just wish...oh, I don't know what I wish. That I could have been abetter person, I guess, a different person, the person I saw myself asbeing in my mind's eye. I understand that no one's perfect, but I'vefailed so badly, fallen so far short. I'm not sure of anything anymore."She stopped, catching herself before going too far, passed the point ofno return. Then, in spite of herself, she decided to press on, to haveit all out once and for all. "I look at the mess I've made of things, ofmy life in general, and I look at the task ahead, what's necessary tostraighten it all.
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