I had to be very careful: I understood that my feelings were in chaos and my control was ragged at best. Sure, over the past five plus years I had learned control and patience, but those were for things I could control; things that were predictable and for which the rewards and consequences were clear. They never included wives, or ex-wives or children or any of those things that were part of a civilized life. Prison was far from civilized. It was dog-eat-dog where the strong survived and the weak succumbed and the result was a culture that worked. Those with a skill or a talent or some degree of knowledge that could be bartered into something better were the winners. The weak or the ignorant looked to those others for their survival, often at the cost of something more precious; their dignity.I was one of the more fortunate and I had learned to take advantage when it was to my benefit. Compassion was not a survival emotion in prison and my compassion had been suppressed for a long. Jab se unko mehne bra mein dekha unko fuck karne ka bohut dil karra tha. Mein unki panties chori kar ke usko apne land par rakhtha tha aur muth Martha tha. Kabhi kabhi unki panties mein unki pudhi ki juice lagi hothi thi. Mein kabhi kabhi unko suba chat baje Kaam par chodne jaatha tha. Aur woh Phir mera gaal par pappi deh kar thank you baby bolti thi. Mera Lund khara Hojatha tha.Eik din unki apne husband ke saath argument hui kyun ke woh usko itna fuck Nae kartha tha aur naaz ko fuck karna bohut acha lagtha tha. Us din meine unko ride dee thi Kaam par aurr mujhe pata tha ke meri pyaari si bechari khaala ko raat ko Lund Nae mila toh mood off tha. Himmat karke meine unka haath pakar ke kaha “naaz kya hua baby” unho ne kaha ke tum bache ho tum Nae samjho ge us din one hour pehle nikle ghar se Kaam ke liye toh mene gaari rok kar phir poocha. Aur thora sa hint diya ke unki avazaari aur behncheni se lagg raha hai ke unko kuch chaeye. Naaz ne muskara ke kaha tum nahi deh sakte to meine bola.
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