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One of the regulars at the barhad been named (or nicknamed) Duck, and he was notoriously ugly. Hisface had been kicked in by a horse, and not set properly, so it waslopsided, and he always spoke with a sneer. The fact that he only hadone front tooth, and a few at the back, also added to his look. He wasbalding in the front, and entirely on the left side of his head. Thebrothers were barely on the cart leaving town when they decided to writea story about him. Ugly Duck became the Ugly Duckling, and by the timethe story ended it bore little relationship to Ugly Duck.They rode south for two days, when Bodo popped his head up. I smellhobbit. And not us. There are other hobbits nearby. We should take thisturn off, and then go towards that copse of forest.In the forest the donkey cart rolled into a clearing, and a dozen or sohobbits there froze, to become invisible. And the ploy worked with theGrimms, but Ruth and the northern hobbits could see them. Ruth pulledthe cart up to an. .." Yes?"That fourth pint was going down pretty steadily, and it was getting to the moment when men start to exchange confidences. Eric looked at me properly for the first time."Do you mind if I tell you something? A bit personal, that is? Actually very personal..." Go on, Eric. What is it?" I was passing Lola in the street the other day, when she dropped a coin and bent down to pick it up. She didn't stoop. She just bent right over in front of me. Ye Gods, those generous fleshy buttocks. It was pure sodomy. I got my first tingle for about a year."That one went right through me. Lola's vast shapeless rear-end had been making it seriously hard for me to fuck her with any enthusiasm. (We were down to duty-fucks, basically - a sad emotional desert-zone.) Now I was finding that my neighbour was privately slavering after that very part of her. Also Eric's mention of sodomy rang a little bell. Lola had sometimes hinted that she'd like to try anal sex, but I'd always found the whole idea.
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