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~Jay Leno~The problem with political jokes is they get elected.~Henry Cate, VII~We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.~Aesop~If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these Election speeches,There wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven.~Will Rogers~Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.~Nikita Khrushchev~When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become Prime Minister or Premier;I'm beginning to believe it.~Clarence Darrow~Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics andYour opponents will do it for you.~Author unknown~Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel,Go out and buy some more tunnel.~John Quinton~Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich,By promising to protect each from the other.~Oscar Ameringer~I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us,I will. I would need to use a careful, gentle approach. Not one of my strong points."You don't really expect me to start work until I'm free of pain from my whipping. If you read the file, you'll know that only a week ago, they whipped me front and back and did it as hard as they could. You cannot possibly know the suffering I'm going through." To my amazement he pulled off his shirt and lowered the back of his trousers; his back and arse were covered with the criss-crossing scars from whipping welts."You'll not be scarred like this. Until last year, they used artificial canes in the whipping machine, canes that cut deep into the flesh when applied hard, and that was the only setting then. I expect mine to show until they me put in the incinerator but yours will fade before your year is up, unless you have to have them renewed. I had a week in rehab and then had to go to a master and learn this trade and he started me straightaway like I will you. Now let's get going."We didn't actually do.
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