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Soft smooth skin, the sexy curve of a womans waist andhips. Her breasts and smooth rounded ass. Here was the perfect form. Abeautiful woman.... with a cock. Alpha and Omega. Over the course ofseveral years I dressed, I dreamed and I cursed myself and my life. I'dpurge. Walk away from the clothes the stories and trannie porn. Addictionis a terrible thing. It will ruin the best of you, reduce a person tonothing. Less than nothing. A taker of all that's good from themselvesand everyone around them. A parasite. It was just like that, only Isuffered it alone. I would workout, grow a beard. Get in fights. Joinedthe fucking Army. It didn't matter,she was there.Jonna. Always there.Waiting, waiting for her day, like a prisoner waiting for parole. Whoknows how it starts, but it does. It creeps back in your life. That needthat desire....then along came the internet. My gateway to nirvana. Mygold mine, my Waterloo and my Alamo. I say MY Waterloo and Alamo. Jonna?Jonna found her parole board. She’d always envisioned that by her mid-twenties she’d at least have met the love of her life, even if she weren’t married to him. But the years spent caring for her mother had scuppered any chance of finding romance. Oh no, instead she’d been trudging alone through the emotional wilderness. Strange how the pain of losing Charlie brought back all the pain of losing her mother, she thought, a second tear merging with the first. The car crash had left Jane Barton paralysed and brain damaged. Most of the time, Melissa hadn’t been sure her mother even recognised her. But there’d been a few, frighteningly lucid intervals where she’d been certain that she had. I was supposed to die. Why didn’t you let me die? Melissa tried to suppress a sob as the words echoed round her head. The moment she’d found the huge pile of unpaid bills in the kitchen, she’d suspected, even if no one else had, that when her mother’s car had smashed at high speed into the wall of the garage block it had been no.
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