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But what if I grow up to wantchildren?" she asked nervously."What! You want children!" I gasped. "Do you like babies?"Melanie fell silent with uncertainty, then nodded apologetically."Yes. I may be gay, but I'd love to have a family and be a mother whenI'm older." But you'd have to sleep with a man for that." No I wouldn't. I could go to a sperm bank."Her answer flummoxed me for I hadn't thought of that. My jaw fell as Ipictured Melanie using a 'turkey baster' to make herself pregnant. Thenthe image amused me and I smiled."What's so funny?" demanded Melanie."The idea of you with a turkey baster up your pussy." That's stupid. You don't use a turkey baster! The doctors do it with aspecial syringe. You only use a turkey baster if you get a man to supplyhis sperm and you do it yourself, straight away." Oh," I sniggered. "So which man are you considering?" Don't be daft Martie. If I do have babies, it'll be years away yet.We'd need to have jobs and a house and stuff."Her suggestion of a. We can snare this one for you darling.’ ‘What?’ ‘You’ll do the work. I’m employed as the ideas guy. I’m not required to work.’ ‘Oh, I think I understand what you mean. Will we survive this?’ ‘I bet my left nut we do Melissa.’ ‘Oh Tom, I don’t think you should talk to me like that.’ ‘Please yourself Melissa. I shall remain circumflex around you.’ ‘Do you mean circumspect?’ ‘Something like that. They are only words Melissa.’ Melissa was by then so confused she was temporarily happy until she reached the boardroom door. ‘Oh god.’ ‘What, wet your panties?’ ‘Yes, I mean no. Mom will be so angry with me if I lose this job. She’s been boosting to her friends I’m big in Madison advertising.’ ‘Well physically that remains true Melissa but let’s get you associated with me on this project and make you famous.’ ‘Pigs can fly Tom.’ ‘Well they don’t in Texas.’ ‘Oh hi, you must be Mrs Stokes. Neat body.’ ‘And you must be the idiot who scrawled this note over my invitation to pitch.’ ‘Well don’t get.
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