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You can fix it, and laugh at their mistakes or misfortunes.Fixing problems of your own creation, though, that’s a different story entirely.I couldn’t bring myself to clean up a mess I had left myself in. A mess I started years ago, and just kept making worse. Children- half a dozen or more, many of which have never met each other. Lovers, women I’ve loved, scattered around the country like buckshot. Women I’d hurt. People I’d killed. A love who meant the world to me who died. Died because I hadn’t been there to protect her. Because I couldn’t bring myself to accept just how much she meant to me. Because we couldn’t. Because I had ran away, yet again.It is a perpetual mystery how I managed to live this long. I’m not sure its a good thing that I had. I don’t mean other people trying to hurt me. It is a mystery I hadn’t killed myself yet, and put myself out of my own misery. Out of so many other people’s misery. Out of the misery of people I had yet to meet.Yet here I sit, on a river. You will be here as normal, and Dad can meet you.”Reg was still unsure of himself with this meeting. “What do you want us to do or say when he is here, Frances? I don’t want to say something that will make things difficult for you. Will I just be your evening tutor? I am happy to do that, if it suits you better.”“No, Reg. You are my boyfriend, and I will tell Dad so. How much I say about your relationship to the other girls will depend on his attitude to you and me, and what he thinks of you as an individual. Are you girls prepared to leave the decision to me?”There was a pause while the others thought about it, but they soon saw the sense in that Frances was saying, and all agreed to leave her to decide how to present them. Reg finally spoke.“Frances, I was only vaguely aware you had a cleaner: I have never seen her. I admit I was puzzled that the house was always tidied up, but stupidly I assumed you must have done some of it in your spare time. Sorry. The only way I can apologise.
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