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Absolutely can't take that money. It's obscene!"He didn't protest. "I know how you feel. A bit anyway. I've had long enough to get used to it but it was very hard on my pride to take Elizabeth's money at first. What will I do with my share anyway?" He grinned at me. "At least I've less to worry about now. You can't actually refuse it - it's yours willy-nilly. You can give it away, but that's not easy. To do it responsibly. Don't worry for now. You won't have to actually worry for months. Probate will take a while. The solicitor suggested an advance." He got up and went to the sideboard, coming back with an envelope for me. I opened it. There was a cheque for £2, 000 inside. I could cope with that. I looked again."But this is your cheque?" Only to tide you over, You can pay me back when her solicitor gets hold of some of her money. Even that'll take weeks. Please take it. It's real money - I just got my royalties for the last year."I had bought one of Robert's books so I could. It was the day of the funerals. I was wheeled up to the twin grave sites by my brother. He wouldn’t let anyone else help me, not even James, who did offer. I was the second saddest day of my life.When I saw the men lower the caskets I fainted yet again. I woke up, at home this time. I hadn’t been out for long. I knew that because they were all there dressed just as they had been at the funerals.For the next several weeks I lived in a fog. I did that, living, if indeed that’s what it was, on the patio of my brother and my ex-wife. It was surreal. The weather was good. I wasn’t in a wheelchair anymore. I was just advised to go slow. It seems I had managed to contract a tachycardia; hypertension and stress were the causes the doctor’d said. I should be all right he said, but I would need to monitor things and take the meds I’d been prescribed religiously to be sure.Then, it was six weeks since my wife’s death. I thought about her and missed her every night, and really, every waking hour.
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