I had to admit it mitigated my misgivings about Sally’s actions with the priest, even though she admitted she enjoyed the sex. Sex is sex and is designed to be enjoyed, after all. At base, it’s why we do it!I realised and accepted that once you start having sex, the physical action and feelings are enjoyable and addictive in themselves, if you are not being forced. I remembered that her liaison with the priest faded into the background of my mind as we searched for her. I knew at the time that she had been unfaithful but I still searched for her doggedly. Why was that?Was my search really love for her? Was love behind my drive to ensure she was not in danger from herself or others? Wasn’t that real love? When I rushed off to find her as soon as I knew where she was and before I knew about Bryn, I realised now that I had to have been seeking her return, seeking to reclaim her, not just to find answers. Wasn’t that the truth? Wasn’t that love? So why didn’t it feel like love now? And. What I found was something the challenge and brought up feelings about how I wanted to be perceived.* * * Last night, I would like to share a dream I had? By day and in public, I am male. In cyberspace, my feminine side can come out. In my dream, one question was "What type of picture would I give for others to remember me? Well, the picture I saw was that of a young woman dressed in a white ballerina outfit and white tights. My head is tilted to the right in a soft pose. I have a silk sarong wrapped around my waist, it covers my butt. Finally, I am sitting with pink pointe shoes touching each other, and my hands holding on to the tip of my pointe shoes.One another thing, in my dream I had light red hair. In the second part of my dream, the question was "How would I describe myself?" I would think of myself as a cheerleader? My favorite singer was a cheerleader before forming an all girl band. A ballerina? I love the dance, and the new dance steps I learn in aerobics. A.
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