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I’m too scared to leave the house but I’m terrified at being here, too. I can’t live that way.I can’t stop reliving that day.I finally understand how betrayed you felt when the people you cared about let you down. I want to apologize for trivializing your feelings about Susan and Tara. I finally understand your reluctance to have anything to do with them.Please note that I’m not apologizing for pushing you to forgive them. I still think I was right about that part. But I’m sorry for thinking your feelings were unjustified.Leah cleared that up for me. That’s for sure.But just like you told me once, my feelings aren’t necessarily rational but it doesn’t change them.I feel betrayed by my sister. But I also feel betrayed by my parents for not stopping her. And sadly, my love, I feel betrayed by you too for not protecting me.But I know these thoughts aren’t rational so I’m going away for a while to fix things. I need to be able to close my eyes without seeing that day. I need to be able. She gracefully placed the pottery piece into the spot where she wanted it, then spun around to look at me as the sound of the bell died. Her braids swirled and clacked, a kinetic rainbow, and then I saw her face. She was, in a word, beautiful. Her features were regular and even. Her chin was dainty, her lips full, sensual and painted a luscious raspberry red. Her nostrils were only slightly flared, her cheekbones high, and then I looked into her astonishingly unlikely hazel-colored eyes, and I was lost."Can I help you?" she asked. I suppose she was used to having that effect on men."Uh, yes," I replied, coming out of my daze. "I was interested in finding out some information on that mask in the window. It's a beautiful piece." Yes, it is," she replied. She walked over to me, and then we walked side by side to the window at the front of the store. I was close enough to her to smell her perfume. It was flowery with an undertone of musk. I tried to be surreptitious about inhaling her.
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