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I found Donna sitting at ‘our’ table with Nellie who was wet eyed and sad looking. I enquired what was the matter. ‘I’m going to have them off,’ said Nellie. I was not clear what she meant. ‘My tits,’ she said, lifting them pointedly. ‘Nobody ever remembers Nellie the charming barmaid, just Nellie with the big tits. Nobody at work says, “take it to Nellie the first class secretary,” they just say give it to the chest. I’m going to have them reduced.’ ‘Don’t be wet, Nellie,’ said Donna. ‘They are a national monument. That would be like cutting a bit of Winston Churchill’s statue or removing the tips off Tower Bridge.’ I put an arm around Nellie and hugged her. She sobbed. ‘I hate them. It’s as if they are all I am!’ More sobbing. ‘I’m just a pair of boobs with a smile above them if anyone ever bothers to look that high.’ ‘Well,’ said Donna, ‘They do have a certain arresting quality.’ I glared at her. ‘It’s a big decision, Nellie. Why not give it a bit of time. Think about it.’ ‘Good. Weekend over, it was back to school. I found it difficult to concentrate, my mind was still on the weekend and i could hardly tell anyone about it.During one of the lessons i found an article from the council which stated (Woodlice do not transmit disease or bite and are not considered to be a public health pest). This excited me more, i can confirm they don't bite but knowing they don't transmit disease made me feel wet. Also it said (The female woodlouse produces between 50 and 150 eggs. She carries these in a brood pouch until they hatch. This can take between 50-100 days. In England there is usually only one generation of woodlice produced per year). This was good news, i mean it's not as if they would be inside me for 50 days I started looking at their habitats and where i could find more. Couldn't wait to get home and search the garden.Rushing in doors at home, i found mum was out and i quickly ran outside looking under rocks and pots, yeahh i found some, running to my room to.
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