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It wasn't until we got to know each other better that I realized he was actually a fairly handsome young man, even half deaf with a slight speaking issue because of that.His name was Jim.I had stayed after today to learn just a few basics we covered in high school before we were to move onto the more complicated applications. We had finished a few example problems and I was taking my time to put my papers away, enjoying the Texas sky outside the long windows that lined the wall just underneath the ceiling, sniffing the smell of freshly cut grass and humidity, feeling the humidity lightly coating my skin...I was about to leave but then I decided to walk over and see what he was looking at. Friends could do that, right?I watched him type up some papers on lesson plans and schedule changes until he swiveled around in his chair to face me. I always liked the way he dressed, it was so casual, yet flattering to his body. I liked when he wore his jeans and white t-shirt, it complimented his. And she was only a student teacher anyway, so for all she knew there WERE policies against that. Then there was the age difference. Again, four years ago that had been part of the thrill. But now he seemed so much wiser that he seemed a lot older than she felt. And, while he had expressed appreciation for her as a female of the species, that was just a kindly older man encouraging a young woman ... or at least that's what she tried to convince herself.Most humans don't do well in a constant state of flux. They crave some semblance of order in their lives, a pattern they can depend on to deliver a modicum of stability. That is particularly true of relationships, which they want to be well defined and trustworthy, in terms of what they expect from each other. Sometimes, when a relationship is tumultuous, they will introduce artificial strictures into the association in an effort to force some kind of stability."It's just the remnants of a silly school girl crush," she said. Her voice.
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