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I don’t remember, but I wanted to.”“Melanie, why? Why?”“Because I ruined everything! I can’t have you the way I really want you, and I can’t even have you for sex. I can’t have Pete. I lost my best friend. Birgit died. I just couldn’t handle it,” she was sobbing.I knew exactly how she felt. I had been there. But I never got to the point of wanting to kill myself. As despondent as I had been, I’d always seen a light at the end of the tunnel. Melanie clearly didn’t.“Melanie, Pete’s here.”“No! I don’t want to see him. I can’t!”“Why not? As soon as I told him what had happened, he said he’d come home. No hesitation. No thinking about it. He came to see you.”“He hates me for what I did! You hate me for what I did! I hate me for what I did!” she sobbed.And that was the crux of the matter. She hated herself. As far as I could tell, neither Pete nor I hated her. We might be upset with her, but we both loved her. And that was why her situation was different from mine. I’d never hated. Then disaster. My boss was diagnosed with a form of cancer that then took no more than a couple of months to kill you. He was very stoical about it but his wife Stella had tackled the consultant who had made the diagnosis and was told there was a specialist in London who claimed he had been able to cure the condition using a new technique called chemotherapy. So it was arranged. George would go to London and I would hold the fort for him as best I could. The only problem for me was that George’s treatment was going to be expensive even with his health insurance and it would mean me living on a shoestring. So it was agreed I would move into George’s house with his wife Stella and his 16-yr-old daughter by his first marriage and their 10-yr-old son, to save me the cost of my rooms.Stella and I saw George, looking pretty groggy, onto the BOAC flight to London at about 8pm and drove back to the Salisbury suburb, stopping for a light meal on the way. I did my unpacking in the.
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