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I had stalled long enough and brought my finger to the tube for a good coating of the gel. I placed it right on my anus and pushed. Surprisingly it went right in, not far, but right in. I didn't have the best angle and then remembered the anal girl in Kim's video and how she reached it from under rather than over her pussy. A switch of angles and I was able to reach a lot deeper, if I wanted to, this way. I held my finger there for a minute trying to decide if it felt good, or just different. I worried that the stimulation was going to make me want to "go", but I had my regular morning visit and felt that I should be OK. I didn't want to bother with an enema for this experimenting. I decided that a finger in my butt hurt a little at first, but eventually felt good and I continued to piston it in and out, if only to the second knuckle. I wasn't sure how much time I had to be alone, so I removed my finger and got the Blue Devil out. I coated it liberally with the KY jelly. The thin end. Really. I should love this, but I hate it. I feel like one of those East Memphis debutantes. I feel as if I'm selling out. And it takes me an hour to park it." Well... you can always give it back." But this is terrible! I feel so dishonest. I dread to think of how I'm going to be punished for this... this terrible sin! I've invested so much in claiming I was on my own and had my own ideas, and now I'm selling out."I spent the afternoon with her and helped her pack books and clothes. She was cranky the whole time. I tried to joke around and make light of Mr. Buchanan and to convince her that at least her life would be settled for a while."I don't know what's going to happen to me," she said at one point. "I had finally got the feeling that I was in control of my life and I could honestly be myself. Now I have to spend every day in that house pretending that I agree with everybody, when I really and truly don't." I know," I said ruefully. "How well I know!" Hon, can I say something?".
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