And I don’t think any amount of rational thought is going to change your mind on this. It’s just who you are, Mike. You’ve been looking forward to having kids since you were little.”“Not exactly normal for a guy,” I said.“As your dad likes to say, you and I are very much alike. You have a lot of feminine qualities Mike, and that’s not a bad thing. You’re compassionate, loving, gentle, and caring. And you love kids, as evidenced by your reaction to Chastity.”“I don’t believe April and I could ever be a couple,” I said.“I wasn’t suggesting that, Mike. Just pointing out how that situation helped clarify things.”“It’s moot anyway,” I sighed. “Jocelyn isn’t speaking to me.”“I wish I could fix it for you.”“Me, too.”“So, what do you think the end result will be with Deacon Vasily?”“I guess it depends on whether he believes Tasha and me. If he doesn’t, I won’t be allowed to see her. I’ve given him no reason not to trust me, but I don’t think he’s particularly rational at the moment.”“No, I. He should be back soon, how do you feel?’ ‘I feel a little better. What is wrong with me?’ ‘Honey, we don’t know yet. Rich is finding out now. He was just out in the hallway, I’ll go look.’ I heard her say, ‘Sally is awake now. She is asking for you.’ Rich was there in a hurry, he kissed me hungrily. ‘Baby, I love you. How do you feel?’ ‘I feel better. I don’t have a chill anymore. What is wrong with me?’ I saw tears run down Rich’s cheeks, ‘Sweetheart, you had a miscarriage, we lost the baby.’ I felt a hammer blow to my heart. I heard myself scream, ‘NO! OH NO! NOOOOOO! It’s my fault, I am a bad person, and God wouldn’t let a bad person like me have a baby. Oh! Rich! I am so sorry, it is all my fault.’ ‘NO SALLY! That is not true. You are a good person, you have never hurt anyone, and you have never hurt a fly. I am the bad person, I have killed other men. If is the fault of one of us it is all my fault. God might punish me but he would never punish you. Never! The doctor said they.
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