Yeah, I told her to clean her room." The woman rolled her eyes. "Go on up." Cool." I nodded and I'd known Brittany for a couple years, since I started going to middle school anyway. I guess she was my best friend, but mostly I didn't feel like I had one of those. She was just a friend.I found her laying on her bed reading the newest Seventeen and when I opened her bedroom door, the girl jumped and started acting like she was cleaning, until she saw it was just me."I thought you were my mom," she said with a sheepish smile."She let me in." I shrugged and closed the door behind me. "What's up?" Nothing." Brittany was just as bored as me. "I gotta clean my room." Yeah, it doesn't look bad." I looked around and I didn't see anything wrong with it. She lived there, so what was the big deal if all the clothes weren't put away, or stuff was out on the dresser and floor maybe? My room was the same way."That's what I said." My friend smiled. "She's on the rag though." Yeah." I nodded. "My. This one is compliments of JohnAll in all it hadn't been a good day. Bad traffic, and malfunctioning computer, incompetent coworkers and a sore back all made me a seething cauldron of rage.But more importantly for the story, it had been over 48 hours since I last took a dump. I tried to jump start the process, beginning my day with a bowl of bowel-cleansing fiber cereal, following it with 6 cups of coffee at work, and adding a bean-laden lunch at Taco Bell.As I was returning home from work, my insides let me know with subtle rumbles and the omission of the occasional tiny fart that big things would be happening soon.Alas, I had to stop by the mall to pick up an order for my fiancée. I completed this task, and I was walking past the stores on my way back to the car, I noticed a large sale sign proclaiming "Everything Must Go!" This was prophetic, for my colon informed me with a sudden violent cramp and a wet, squeaky fart that everything was indeed about to go.I hurried to the mall.
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