I had tothink. I spotted a lonely bench facing out to the ocean and flopped downon to it, waving Nick, who had straggled behind a little, over to me."What's up?" he asked, concern etched on his face, as he bent over, handson knees. "Did you get a cramp or something? I find that happens a lotif I haven't worked out in a while."It took me a moment to gather my thoughts enough to respond. "Nick, am Idoing the right thing?" Well, except for stumbling over yourself a little on that hill backthere, your form looks fine to me, you wouldn't know you'd never run withboobs before." This isn't the time for jokes Nick, I'm serious," I snapped, myfrustration with myself boiling over on to him, "Am I doing the rightthing? Transitioning, taking the hormones, becoming a girl full-time?"He finally sat down next to me, one hand resting lightly on my shoulder,the other on my knee. "What's going on, Alexis? I mean, you were sosure yesterday, and the doctor clearly thought you were too.... She looked into my eyes and smiled. I laughed and watched as her shirt started to slide down, revealing her tight, flat stomach...I wanted to slap myself. What was I thinking? I started clapping. "Bravo! Bravo!" I joked, already trying to forget everything that had just happened. She got up and smiled, waved to the imaginary crowd, and began to bow. I glanced over to Katie. She looked pissed. She got up and brought her plate to the kitchen. Jax watched her leave, and sighed. "Finally, she's gone," she laughed and sat down on the couch next to me, bringing her feet up. “You cool if I sit here?”I stared for a second, before replying. "Yeah, no, that's cool."She smiled and looked at the TV. They weren't making this easier for me. At all. I somehow fought the urge to ogle at her legs for a long time. We just sat in silence watching TV. A few minutes after Jax took a seat, Katie walked by, and headed for her room. I silently sighed a breath of relief. Don’t have to worry about Katie for.
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