Food that was on special offer in Iceland or Morrisons or Lidl. Pink, blue and beige food that turned you diabetic just from looking at it. I am a snob about food and Lizzie's food frightened me. It reminded me of the mushroom in Alice in Wonderland that made you double in size; it had certainly had that effect on Lizzie. She was enormous – multiple chins, a huge belly, thunderous thighs and vast meaty upper arms. She was not remotely ashamed of her girth and flaunted it in skin tight lycra leggings, mini -skirts and crop tops, revealing flesh like the uncooked pastry of a frozen sausage roll. I knew a lot of larger women who shrouded themselves in tent dresses – marquees of material designed to distract. But Lizzie wanted you to look. During the 90s she had starved herself – we all wanted to be Kate Moss – and no one bothered with food at the record company. Cool people lived on cocaine, black coffee and cigarettes – eating was for squares. Maybe if Lizzie had ended up married to. More than that, I want to feel your kiss, and guide you in the mastery of a woman: how to experience her, and not be afraid to open yourself or your heart to her and enjoy each other fully. I know that I will not be your only lover because I can not offer you everything you will seek in your life, but I want to show you how much I have to give you, not just sexually, but lovingly, emotionally, purely. You and I have always been very close, and what you said to me the other night at dinner touched my heart deeply. The strength of your hug when we left after our private conversation said more than your words could ever speak. Yet, you seduced me with your words and ways that I have long forgotten, and that encapsulated me all the more. How could I explain to you that I wanted you to follow me home and make love to me? Yet, today I can do exactly that, I can be with you without fear of any repercussions. I long to make love with you, show you the beautiful things we have talked about.
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