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Bob (that's my husband - but I'm sure you already knew that) said that you were getting a bit pudgy and he thought your heart wouldn't be able to handle the added cholesterol. Don't worry. I'll sneak in some real cookies and milk this year.Speaking of last year, I'd like to talk to you about last year's present. I appreciate the fact that you were thinking of me and don't want to seem ungrateful, but I must admit to some confusion. I just don't see how the 150 pairs of jockstraps could have possibly been intended for me. I just know that somewhere in the world there is a football team running around commando. Perhaps there was an error in the elf processing center or something.In order to head off such an error, I've decided to write a little earlier than usual. Did you like the bunny stamp I used? It's so hard to find one this time of year that isn't wearing shamrocks while fireworks burst over a pumpkin patch.At any rate, here's my most wanted list for this Christmas. I'd like to. I had a short wait and then Ms. Borders came into the room.Ms. Borders came in and spotted me as I rose. She stopped. Her eyes widened. I thought I saw a moment of panic, but she covered it nicely."Yes? May I help you?" She asked me, playing it cool."Ah, Ms. Borders. You know who I am, I am sure. You have had a private detective agency following me for sometime, now. Call me Ben," I replied and held out my hand to shake hers.She hesitantly put her hand forward and I shook it firmly and let go."Please sit, Ma'am. The question is, what can I do for you? You have had a firm following me for some time. While I have nothing to hide, I do find it a bit annoying," I told her as we seated ourselves."I must say, this is somewhat surprising," she told me in a soft voice, still unsure of herself."Might I ask why you're so intent on investigating me?" I asked her curiously."Yes," she answered slowly, "perhaps the beginning would be the best place to begin."She got up and went to the door. She.
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