Jane proved invaluable to us, she showed me how to claim back money we'd paid out for items which would become company assets by the system of taxation in our country, she showed a hard side to her personality when dealing with the builders renovating the pub, it was raining one afternoon when we arrived to see how they were progressing, it was only a light drizzle but we found them in their site hut drinking tea and playing cards,"Hi boys" she said cheerfully, "I hope you're all winning, because you're not getting paid while you're in here"One of the gang, a big Irish guy named Sean, stood up and growled,"We either get paid while we're on site, or we all fuck off now"I pushed Jane to one side gently and said in as calm a voice as I could muster,"Number one Sean, never, ever swear in front of Mrs McCready again, number two, what she says goes, it's my money she's talking about and I'm not about to pay you for playing bloody cards and number three, if you care to argue, just step. Mine tends to bend up a smidge. It also had much bigger balls on it than I have. She might not have used it yet, but it had obviously been taken out of the box. All the packing materials were missing.“Mom says they must have used you for the model for this,” said Riley, holding it up, proudly. Her grip on the fake balls at the base made me wince a little.“You’ve seen mine,” I said. “What do you think?”“No way does this look like yours,” she said, artlessly. “But I didn’t want to pop Mom’s balloon.”“Gee, thanks,” I said.“Yours has a foreskin,” she went on. “This one has one, but it doesn’t move. It’s also bigger than yours. It feels completely different, too”I couldn’t argue, so I didn’t try.“It will be handy for what I want to try next, though,” she said.“What’s that?” I asked, walking right into her ambush.“This,” she said, looking right at me.She put the end of it in her mouth and sucked on it.“Fuuuuck,” Riley,” I groaned. “Don’t do that!”“What’s wrong?” Riley asked in an innocent.
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