. I was wondering about...." she lingered, unable to formulate her meaning"What?! Spit it out" he ordered"Well I was thinking about the... the 'toys'? Whether I could have some? Take some with me, if you are not using them?... Please!" she added quickly."Ah. Our toys. My toys you mean" He pondered for a moment. She could almost see the wheels turning behind his eyes."They are quite expensive you know. Leather goods, latex, specialist orders. Made to measure. I could give you a good price- about three grand?" he offered, knowing she didn’t have the money."I don’t have that much. But wont you have to get rid of them anyway? No... other girl is going to want something that’s already been inside me." And how do you know they haven’t already been in someone else?" He shot back with the viciousness of a spurned lover.She had nothing to say. The insult of it reeling in her. How could he say that, the bastard?! New pain radiated through her. But then she collected herself. Mastered her. She'd become like a big sister to me. She'd teach me, guide me, help me. I think I was falling in love with her. At the very least, I was becoming obsessed.Also at the very least this whole situation was wrecking my ego. And seriously fucking up my brain. I wanted so badly to spend time with her. The only I could, was to let her dress me up. To deny who and what I was. But, again, I had to be with her. Hear her laugh, listen to her voice. Part of me ignored my guilty feelings at dressing up. I'd rationalize it away. I wasn't doing anything wrong. She was making me do it. She was blackmailing me. But it wasn't true. We both knew it. For her it was a game. For me, I'm not sure what it was. I guess it was just an opportunity to spend time with a woman who was obviously out of my league.I'd never been very good with girls. Never had much luck. Never dated much. I was uncomfortable around girls. I could never figure out what they wanted, never could play the 'game'. With Debbie - the.
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