'Well?" she asked. I noticed she had some freckles."Boys think about girls a lot. About their bodies mainly and about sex, which they of course do not understand, but know they want to do, have to do, I guess. It's a drive you know, copulation." But you do, I mean, you've done it so do you understand it?" she sniffed. "Don't you?" Not really, but I've done it more than most guys my age I guess. I still think about regularly, all the time." I was surprised that she knew I was experienced, lawn cutting and grass widows had taught me a lot, a real lot!"Somebody told me that. It's why I asked you."I nodded and wondered who."All the time?"I nodded and she got up and walked away.The next day she was back at lunch. "I need to ask another question." She sniffed and looked around. "Does it hurt?" Let's go outside," I said, trying not to smile and hoping I was going to get a chance to show her whether it hurt or not. She was one of the prettiest girls in the whole damn school. Anyhow, we sat in. “I love it” says the actor “When’s the audition?” “Wednesday” says the agent.Wednesday comes and the actor arrives at the audition. He marches on stage and shouts: “Hark I hear the cannons roar!” “Brilliant” says the director “You’ve got the job. Be here 9 o’clock tomorrow evening”.The actor is so ecstatic he got the job that he leaves and heads straight to his favourite pub and goes on a major bender. One thing leads to another and next thing he knows its 8.30pm the next night - half an hour until show time! He runs to the theatre continually repeating his line: “Hark I hear the cannons roar! Hark I hear the cannons roar! Hark I hear the cannons roar!”He arrives at the stage entrance, out of breath and is stopped by a production assistant. “Who the hell are you?” asks the assistant. “I’m ‘Hark I hear the cannons roar’” “You’re ‘Hark I hear the cannons roar’?” “Yes, I’m ‘Hark I hear the cannons roar’” “You’re late! Get up to makeup straight away!”So he runs up to makeup continually.
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