I moved in. I hesitated, smelling your neck, your hair, allowing my lips to touch your ear as I whispered: ‘Is your pussy very wet my love?’ I waited, letting our skin encounter each other in my slow retreat, noticing the wrinkles in your neck that betrayed the youth, which you had so skillfully retained in your appearance and image. You were crimson now, the previous flushes were nothing compared to his genuine outpouring of emotion. ‘But’ you hastened, ‘but I’m marr…’ I put my index finger on your lips and you were instantly silent. ‘The light shines on us today, the light that burns within you, burns within me. Don’t question it…don’t analyse it, leave your opinions behind with the rest of your burdens…’ I lent in again, uninvited but completely welcome. ‘I want you.’ I stayed in your field of dreams. ‘I want every inch of you. Just get up with me now, don’t look at me, don’t talk to me…but walk with me, side by side, my equal, my destiny…’ We were very close now. A closeness of. " Mom," I said, "that's not why I..."She stopped me. "Johnny, even if you think it's more than that, it can't work, don't you see baby?" I started to say something but she cut me off, "Let's not talk about it please, I find it too upsetting. Just don't be mean to me sweetheart, I can't do what you want." She shook her head. "I could kill my sister. This is all her fault...her and Jimmy, but we're not like them, we have to go back to being our normal selves." She ran out of steam and said, "I love you."I didn't see any point in arguing and I decided she was right about my being a bastard to her for something she couldn't help, so I just said, "I love you too mom." I kissed her on the cheek and went to bed.The next day was a Saturday and I spent too much of it thinking. The more time I spent on Jimmy and my Aunt Lila, the more I wanted mom. I'd gotten myself worked up to a fever pitch. Jimmy was there for me to vent my frustrations, but that wasn't going to solve anything so I decided.
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