If not love, I insist on their respect." They weren't being disrespectful of just you," Tanya replied. "They're disrespectful of females in general – especially those who are in charge. I've had trouble with them before. You'll need a tight rein to control them." Thank you for your advice," Annalisa told her. "I will keep your words in mind."Tanya smiled back, knowing that she was being politely dismissed – perhaps not in such a way that she thought Annalisa wanted her gone, but she didn't really want her advice, despite the fact that Tanya thought it was needed. But perhaps Annalisa had handled men like them before. There was some industry and logging in this northern district, as well as farming, and Tanya knew as well as anyone that the harsher the environment, the more independent (and unwilling to be controlled) men tended to be.One thing was certain, Tanya realized – Annalisa handled people a lot differently than Béla ever had, as far as she knew, anyway. Béla had always been. How could she dare to destroy the promise of what we had shared? The bitch! Instead of holding hands and looking out at friends and family at our 50th anniversary, I found myself trying to decide if I could trust anyone enough to risk trying to love again. And for me sex had always been associated with love.I ate at home, which meant I learned how to cook. I exercised, since I wasn't dating, which meant I actually got into shape ... better shape then I had ever been before; better shape than most of the hard bodies that seem to be everywhere on the Coast. I worked hard, saved money, decided what was important to me ... who I am, if you will.I think mostly Tawny and Connie were intrigued by what I 'had to be hiding' when they happened upon my existence, after my next to last promotion ... I've laughed that they thought I was in the closet, though Connie insists she had thought I must be in the witness protection program, I so totally avoided being social. She insisted that Tawny.
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