"Yes, how did you know?"I explained what happened with the apartment complex. And then I asked the question that ultimately doomed me. "When will you be back?" I don't know. It is possible that I will not come back."Her answer hit me like a ton of bricks. Wait, when she means leaving, she really means LEAVING. That simple thought shattered me, and immediately I felt the pain of a dagger through my heart. "I... I don't understand. Why?" I was here on a one-year work visa. That is all I was allowed. That one year is almost over. I knew this when I came." You knew? How come you never told me?" Because if you knew, you would have been thinking about it every day for six months. I have told you before, you always worry about tomorrow. And it does not let you enjoy today."My mind was whirling, my eyes twitching back and forth as I tried to comprehend. This was impossible. I couldn't lose her. But the signs were always there. The warnings that I needed to have my own life outside of her.. I can control what happens when I am dressed, but inthe real world I will not have that comfort zone. While I have alwayswanted to go out into the working world and think, I will need a pushto get out of the house.Heather is still sleeping so I slip out of bed and head to thecloset. I decide what I am going to wear for the day. It is nicegoing through my dresses, skirts, pants and tops to decide what Ifeel like wearing. After deciding I pick put my bra based upon thecolor of my blouse, just one of those things we know to do, but guyshave no idea.I jump into the shower and let the warm water run over me. As Ishower I once again start to become nervous about Monday. Rather thanlet my mind get the best of me, I decide to think about the thingsthat I do as any other woman. Things they take for granted but areimmeasurable for a cross dresser. I take a deep breath and inhale thearoma of the Cherry Blossom shampoo and matching body scrub. Insteadof using a wash cloth I use my body sponge. I.
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