Then I walked into my local one day and there was a new barmaid that had just started, a 23 year old who had a body to die for and was single, she would have no interest in me because I’m in my forties, or so I thought! Over a few weeks we got friendly and a bit flirty with eachother and I still thought it was just a bit of a laugh, although I did want to fuck her! I went in the pub on the Friday for a few drinks and got chatting again and asked her if she was working the next day, yes but only a half shift, she finished at 4! But was staying for a few drinks after! I go and do a bit of shopping and get in the pub by 3 o’clock on Saturday, time to talk and flirt a bit! She finished her shift and I got her a drink, we sat outside in the sunshine and had a few more, I asked her if she fancied joining me for dinner, I was cooking! She said that would be lovely! So off we went back to mine. We got on great, had a few more drinks and had dinner. I didn’t want to push things so I asked her. No doubt he'd written me off, assuming that Iwould be cowering semi-conscious with pain from his assault on my mostsensitive feminine parts. He tripped over the fireplace surround andlost his balance, falling head-first into the mantlepiece. There wasa nasty cracking sound, which didn't register with me at first.Focused on my goal, I grabbed the poker and went to smash him over thehead with it."Stop!" screamed Susie. I managed to restrain myself just in time."He's not moving!" she said. "I think he's out cold."We approached cautiously, in case the slimy bastard was shamming.Then we saw the blood oozing out of the side of his head.There was no running away from this. Everything was going to come outnow.I reached for the phone and dialled."Emergency. Which service?" Police and ambulance," I said. "I think I've just killed someone."I had used my Martha voice out of habit. Afterwards I wondered why.* * *Susie was barely holding it together. I got us both a double brandyand.
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