The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'Lemon SqueezeThere once was a religious young woman who went toConfession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.'The priest thought long and hard and then said,'Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.' The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my sins?'The priest said, 'No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.'Catholic DogMuldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked,'Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor. She knew what they’d done was wrong, but wasn’t sure she’d be able to keep it from happening again. She knew she and Luke needed to talk about it, but she wasn’t sure how she’d react if she was close to him again. The memories of their wild night were too fresh, and too real. She’d gone to her room hoping he’d come in to talk with her and dreading it at the same time. Despite the fact that she had doubts about what they’d done the day before, she found herself wanting him to make love to her again. ‘I was worried about you, Lorrie,’ Luke said and laid his hand gently on her arm. ‘Are…are you angry with me because…because of what…what I did last night?’ ‘I…I’m not mad at you, honey,’ Lorraine said. She shouldn’t have let this happen! Luke’s touch was thrilling her again! ‘You…you didn’t do anything, it…it was my…my fault.’ Luke wasn’t finding this any easier than Lorraine. While he caressed her arm through her robe, feelings he’d tried to banish earlier once more started to awaken in.
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