" Did I tell you that Aunt Hillary sucked off our boyfriend yesterday?" Oh my God! Charley. I'm pretty loose about these things, but you keep your cock away from my mother's mouth! Do you understand me? There are certain lines that aren't okay to cross."I paused."I'd never get it on with your mother, Alix." Have you seen my mom? If Aunt Hilary got you hot, my mom's going to leave you all smoke and ashes." Well, not in person." Just a warning, Charley. My mom's also pretty affectionate. My Dad complained to me once in so many words that he was afraid that she'd blown all his friends. He then pretended like he'd never said it. She's a horrible flirt around men and more than a few guys have gotten the wrong idea." Alix, she had a lot of dates after my Dad died. It doesn't mean that your Mom was giving them all head. Men like her for other reasons." Like a very perky 36D of them reasons? Talk about my getting the wrong end of her gene pool." Alix, you don't have to be jealous of everyone. ” She shrugged. “Here I am.”“Their loss is my gain,” Ciaran said, whistling tunelessly to himself as he wandered across to clear a table close to the door. He paused, spotting yet another discarded fold of paper among the wedding debris.“I keep seeing these,” he said. “What are they?”“Oh, those!” Alice blushed as she realised what he held in his hand. “They’re just poems. We thought it’d be something different for the guests to have fun with. You know - little mementos they could take away afterwards. I guess they weren’t interested in them.”Ciaran unfolded the paper, grinning as he read the stanza.“The lads an lasses toy an kiss,the lads ne’er think it is amiss;to bang the holes whereout they piss –an that’s the reels o Bogie.”He gave a low whistle. “Bloody hell! It’s pretty raunchy stuff for a wedding, isn’t it?” he asked.“It’s literary, actually – from Robert Burns’ The Merry Muses of Caledonia. Turns out the man wrote about more than just haggis.” Alice sighed. “It.
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